


The drink

by GoldenKitteh



Category: Recess (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Femslash, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Middle School, Random & Short, Science Fiction, Secrets, Slash, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenKitteh/pseuds/GoldenKitteh
Summary: Everyone had heard of it before, but nobody had been willing to tell them what it was. One day, one of the gang happens to stumble upon an extra bottle of it, and some literature explaining what it is....Huh, a drink that can tell you if you're straight or gay by how it tastes? How bizarre!
Relationships: Friendship - Relationship, Gretchen Grundler/Female OC (one sided), King Bob/T. J. Detweiler, T. J. Detweiler/King Bob (one sided)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 6





	1. The Bug

* * *

Six youngsters assemble behind the bushes, just out of reach of the daylight sun. They’d started off their Saturday just planning to ride bikes, until a better opportunity had presented itself.

All but one hurriedly stash their bikes, as Gretchen removes the coveted item from the basket of hers with great care.

She holds it up, revealing an unopened, unbroken clear bottle of liquid in one hand, and a stack of small paper cups in the other.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, as we sit here today, we stand on the precipice of young adulthood.” She proudly declares, passing the paper cup pile around for the rest of the sixth-graders to take from.

Uncapping the bottle, she gingerly fills each of the 3oz cups 2/3 full, ensuring there will be enough for all to have a relatively even amount of the drink.

“Hey, it really does smell like lemon!” Vince remarked, holding the cup just under his nose.

“I’ve heard it tastes like soda!” Spinelli remarks

“I’ve heard it’s like drinking a warm, cozy fire!” Gus excitedly chimes in

“I can’t believe you found this just lying about in your dad’s lab!” Mikey remarks, beside himself at their luck of being able to share this rite of passage together.

“Yeah. You sure he won’t notice it’s gone?” TJ inquires, mildly curious.

“Positive. The order form had twelve listed in the box, but I counted them; I guess someone didn’t notice they’d packed thirteen in the case by mistake.” Gretchen informs, topping off the last of the cups.

The drink, in question, was commonly known as “the bug”.

They’d all heard of it before, and had inquired older friends and siblings about it, but nobody had been willing to tell them what exactly the big deal was.

So, Naturally, upon seeing a box with a red bug printed on the side of it resting in her father’s lab, Gretchen simply had to investigate. The brief but fascinating literature accompanying it had piqued Gretchen’s curiosity, until she’d received the answers she sought:

The drink was so popular because it was invented specifically to be appealing to those who experience opposite sex attraction. To those who only experience same-sex attraction, it was rancid.

Though sinister in origin, it had eventually become commonplace over the years, what with its widespread appeal to such a large demographic. Nowadays, most people typically get their hands on it in middle school.

Gretchen had decided not to share that particular bit of knowledge with her friends, just in case.

“Everyone ready?” she inquires, not entirely sure if she herself was, but deciding to be brave, emboldened by her friends.

“Bottoms up!” Vince adds enthusiastically, as they all gently patted their cups together in the center for a toast, before sipping the liquid in harmony.

A few seconds into their first taste, and Gus can be heard making an audible “mmm!” sound.

“Wow, it does taste like soda!” He exclaims, having always wondered if what people said about the drink was true, or greatly exaggerated.

"Like cream soda!" Vince adds, surprised, considering it smells like lemon.

“Speak for yourself!” TJ comments, choking to spit out the foul, offending liquid.

“You okay, Teej?” Spinelli asks, surprised. It had tasted just fine to her!

“It’s like battery acid!” he remarks, grabbing for his water bottle.

“Really? I thought it was rather tasty.” Mikey adds

“You guys are nuts!” TJ comments, never wanting anything to do with the foul liquid again.

“Says the guy who eats pineapple pizza!” Vince teases

“Hey, pineapple pizza is good!” Spinelli defends

“Everyone’s different, and some people’s taste buds just don’t allow them to like certain flavors.” Gretchen chimes in, privately concerned by her own visceral reaction to the drink, and her friend’s.

“Tell that to the middle schoolers: I heard they give it out at parties and make fun of the kids who don’t like it!”

“Gus is right, TJ. If you’re wise, you’ll take some and ‘accidentally’ spill it if you ever find yourself facing it down again.”

“Well, whatever. It’s good and all, but I don’t wanna waste a perfectly good, sunny Saturday sitting around talking about some stupid drink.” Vince leads as he stands up.

“Good point! Who wants to go back down that hill, at full speed this time?!” Spinelli prods

They clamber over to their bikes, leaving the empty bottle and all thoughts of the drink behind.

* * *


	2. The Fairy

* * *

A few days later, Gretchen pulls TJ aside, claiming she’d had something she’d wanted to show him, in private, that he may find interesting. A such, he accepts her invitation to come over to her house after school; a good thing, considering both of her parents are working late this week, thusly giving them the space to talk in seclusion.

“So, what’s it you wanted to show me, Gretch?”

“This” she says, pulling out a copy she’d made of the paper that had come with the drink.

TJ reads it for a moment, though ultimately gives up.

“I don’t understand half of this scientific jargon.”

“Look here” she responds, pointing to a particular few lines of text.

He reads it, and blushes.

“I don’t know what that means, but it sounds awfully adult.” TJ states

“The terms ‘heterosexual’ and ‘homosexual’ just mean straight and gay, respectively.”

“You mean…” TJ’s eyes nearly bug out of his head “Why are you showing me this?”

“Two reasons. A) I had the same reaction you did, I just covered it up. And B) I thought you’d rather hear it from a friend who has genuine concern.”

“Wow…um I don’t know what to say.” It was true, he’d had no idea how to respond to these revelations. Instead, he asked what was on his mind.

“What did it taste like to you?”

“Battery acid, as you’d put it, sums it up pretty well.” Gretchen admits, recalling the unpleasant burning sensation all too well.

She’d been immensely grateful for the research she’d read after, assuring her the drink was safe to ingest, regardless of how it tasted to the consumer.

“How did you manage to stay quiet?”

“That line in the pamphlet about the, ‘excessively foul, acidic tase described by homosexuals’ was a pretty good warning. I snuck a soft peppermint after, when no one was looking.”

“Thanks for the warning!”

“I wasn’t sure how things were going to go! Besides, would you have wanted everyone in the group to know what it meant if someone doesn’t like it?”

TJ sighs.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What do you think we should do now?”

“Well, I did some research after we tried ‘the bug’ and came across another drink of the sort. It’s essentially the same thing in reverse.”

She informs, Holding out a bottle of the other drink she’d discovered. Fortunately, its makers understood the necessity of discreet packaging. It’s clear, like the 1st one, but upon opening it, they discover it smells of lime.

“So, if we like this one, that means we’re…”

“It seems so.” Gretchen says, unsettled by the implications and having been unable to access any of the science behind its discovery.

There’s a silence as TJ sits, leaning forward on his knees with his elbows.

Gretchen, too, is quiet, reconciling her own mix of emotions.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what was it like when you kissed Spinelli?”

“Honestly? It was nice. I don’t really think about it, though. I don’t look at her in that way.”

“Have you ever found yourself admiring another boy for longer than you’d intended?”

“…A couple of times. Um… former king Bob and I have hung out a couple of times recently and um… well… he’s starting to get some muscles, his voice is getting a little deeper, and he’s gotten _really_ handsome.”

“Really?” She responds, more surprised than anything. As she’d remembered him, looks-wise Bob had just been an ugly kid with a uni-brow.

“Yeah. And… it’s not just him.” TJ admits, not at all okay with the sheer number of times he’d found himself staring at the boyband poster on Becky’s wall in recent months.

“What about you? I thought you liked Valentine’s Day and all that junk?” he asks in earnest

“To be honest, Valentine’s Day is more of a fascinating social ritual to me. One that comes with free candy.” She concedes

“Ah.” He nods in understanding. It’s quiet a moment, before he asks  
“Have you?”

“Have I what?”

“You know” he says, nudging her “caught yourself thinking about other girls a little too long.”

“To be honest TJ, I’ve never thought anything of it. I always just assumed it was normal until recently.”

“What changed?”

“The new girl…” Gretchen admits, blushing.

“You too, huh?” TJ responded mirthfully, continuing  
“Guess it’s not just the boys in our grade who are crazy over her!”

“I felt it down in my bones when Mikey described her as a ‘radiant sunflower whose beauty is matched only by her girlish charms’.”

“Wow” TJ smiled, laughing a little at the corniness of it.

There’s a more mirthful moment of silence between them, as they digest the information, and the comfort of not being alone.

“Shall we?” Gretchen gestures, opening the bottle, pouring half into a plastic cup.

“In good company, my friend.” TJ responds

They clink together in a toast before tasting the drink in synchronized fashion.

It’s… it smells like lime, but tastes like a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar. It’s unlike anything either of them had ever tasted, but it’s wonderful.

“Wow” Gretchen’s the first to remark

“Yeah, I know, it’s actually good!”

“A far cry from that other rancid substance.”

“What’s this called, anyway?”

“It’s common name is ‘the fairy’.”

“Guess that’s cause it’s like a magic drink or something.”

“Who knows.”

“So… what do we do now?”

“Take our time to digest this information, and figure out which of our friends we can trust before middle school.”

“Think Mikey’s a safe bet?”

“I’d say so, but let’s feel him out to make sure.”

The two talk, devising a plan, while they head to a room where Gretchen can chemically disintegrate the bottle.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Points to anyone who recognizes the Boy George song referenced in this chapter 😉
> 
> Also, anyone who would like to continue this work, or use this premise, has my full permission to do so. 100% creative freedom! I just ask that you please credit me for the idea 😊 thanks!


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who missed it in the last chapter, the Boy George reference was "The Same Thing In Reverse"  
> It's a song, one that's very relevant to this story ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of The Holocaust.
> 
> This drink is what could have been made if the inventors of Fanta were evil geniuses.

* * *

Bob prepares the drink as he’d done before. Being in 9th grade now, he’d had plenty of experience with it. Fortunately, his sister had taken it upon herself to be the one to introduce him to it.

He remembers as he readies himself for tonight’s party…

* * *

{Flashback}

_It had started out better than a normal day._

_Bob had the day off from school, as did the rest of his fellow Third Streeters, on account of a teachers’ meeting._

_His parents were going to leave him home by himself, but his sister Sheila had reminded them of the incident that happened the last time they tried leaving him alone, and thusly gotten herself the day off from school to watch him._

_“Get up” she nudged him_

_“Mmm go’way” he protested_

_“Come on, I let you sleep in until 9. Now get up!”_

_Sighing, Bob hauls himself up out of bed and complies with her request._

_He’d dressed quickly & they’d eaten breakfast together before they left._

_“So where are we going anyway?” he’d asked upon getting in the backseat of her car._

_“Arkansas State’s campus. I want to tour the college and I thought it would be fun to spend some time with my baby brother!”_

_“Quit calling me that, I’m not a baby!” Bob argues_

_‘I know…you’re growing up so fast’ she thinks to herself as she glances at him through the rear-view mirror.  
“Okay mr. I’m-king-of-the-playground” she taunts_

_Crossing his arms over his chest, Bob “Hmphs” as he looks out the window._

_It’s about half-past noon once their tour finishes, concluding with their guide giving them passes to the dining hall for lunch. They’d eaten and had decided to take a stroll around the area nearby afterword._

_Looking over her campus map, Sheila sees the store selling what she’d come here for should be just ahead & to their left._

_“Hey, let’s check this place out!” She says, leading him over to the little food & drink stop._

_Once they’ve entered, his eyes go wide as he sees it._

_There, just inside the clear glass of the cooler, sits The Drink._

_She’s sure he’s noticed it once she hears his gasp._

_“Please tell me we can get some?” he asks_

_“Sure, but we should sit down & chat first.” She informs him, motioning to 2 chairs near the window in the near-empty store._

_“This is actually why I brought you here.” Sheila informs_

_“Really?” Bob asks, excited_

_She nods_

_“You’re going to enter middle school soon. And I’m pretty sure you’ll like the bug, but either way, I don’t want your first experience with it to be at a party, in front of people.”_

_“What’s the big deal about it anyway?”_

_“You have to promise me not to tell any of your friends if I tell you.”_

_Bob nods, holding a hand to his chest, raising the other, vowing_

_“You have my utmost silence.”_

_Sheila laughs a little at her brother’s gesture._

_“There’s actually 2 drinks” she points out, directing his attention back to the cooler._

_“See the one with the bug embossed on the glass? That’s the one you’ll see the most. The other one next to it in the plain glass bottle of the same shape is a different version of the drink.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“The drink is harmless nowadays, but it was designed back during the Holocaust as a way to identify homosexuals.”_

_Bob’s silent._

_“You mean…”_

_“Middle schoolers make fun of people who don’t like ‘the bug’ because it tastes bad to gay people, but good to straight people. After the Holocaust ended, someone who survived made himself rich by making the other drink you see next to it: which tastes bad to straight people, but good to gay people.”_

_“Wow...” Bob remarks, awestruck in the most morbid way._

_He recovers after a moment, asking_

_“Wait… what if you’re bi?”_

_“I… I’m not sure…” she answers honestly._

_“If you’re bi both drinks taste good.” The young woman behind the counter responds, with a wink when they look in her direction._

_“Do they taste the same?” Sheila asks, having never known anybody who’d tasted the fairy._

_“Nope.” The clerk responds_

_“Is he going into middle school soon?”_

_“In the fall.” Sheila informs_

_“You’re a good big sister. Tell you what, you buy both drinks & I’ll give you the student rate.”_

_Picking out a bag of gummy bears, a bottle of root beer, and one each of ‘The Bug’ and ‘The Fairy’ she hands the items to the clerk, before paying her._

_The clerk places a giant wad of napkins in the bag, saying_

_“Just in case you need these.”_

_A few minutes later, they’d walked over to sit under a shady tree over on a far corner of campus._

_“Which one do you want to try first?”_

_Bob thought about it. He really thought about it_

_He’d been wondering for a while now…_

_“The Bug.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Positive.” He responds, hoping beyond all hope that he’s bi._

_JUST bi._

_“Okay” she says, uncapping the bottle & handing it to him._

_Taking a deep breath, then releasing it, he steels himself._

_Eyes shut tight, he holds the bottle to his lips & takes a swig._

_“Ppt! Agh! Oh God, that’s horrible!” Bob says, unable to stop himself from spitting out the foul, offending liquid._

_“Ha ha. Very funny Bob.” Sheila responds, rolling her eyes at his over-the-top reaction_

_“I’m serious, it burns!” He says, reaching over to where she’d set the root beer before taking a few gulps, then gasping once he’d washed away the taste._

_“Oh…” she hadn’t known what to say. Sure, there’s always a chance but, wow._

_“What um… what did it taste like to you?”_

_“Rancid!” he says without thinking, still in the after shock of such a horrible taste._

_Once the realization sinks in… he asks_

_"What um… what does it taste like to you?”_

_“Cream soda.”_

_“Oh…” he says, thinking to himself  
‘it sure didn’t taste that way to me…’_

_Grabbing the other bottle & uncapping it, Sheila holds it out to him._

_“Well, I guess you can tell me what this tastes like.”_

_“Only if you try it first.”_

_“I already know I’d spit it out, and I don’t want to spill it.”_

_Bob nods, sitting back down, before taking the bottle from his sister._

_He holds the bottle up for a long moment, not quite sure to feel about the revelation._

_Sure, he’d figured out he likes guys a little while ago now, but he’d still been hoping he would start to like girls too. …Guess not._

_Finally, he drinks from the unmarked, clear bottle, and is delighted by the sweet, tangy sensation filling his senses._

_There’s a small smile on his lips as he pulls the bottle away._

_After a moment of silence, Sheila inquires_

_“Well?”_

_“No way, I had to try both, so I’m only telling you if you try it!”_

_Curiosity getting the better of her, she grabs a handful of napkins & takes the bottle, before taking a small sip._

_Immediately shoving the bottle back at her brother, coughing in disgust, she frantically searches for the root beer._

_“Oh God, it’s like battery acid!”_

_“Yeah that’s exactly what The Bug tasted like to me.” He informs as his sister chugs down the root beer._

_“I am so sorry!” she responds once she’s eventually washed away the offending taste._

_He just laughs_

_“It’s alright. This drink tastes like one of those strawberry shortcake ice-cream pops to me.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Mmhhmm.” He nods, taking another sip of the bottle._

_“That’s interesting.”_

_It’s quiet for a moment._

_“Thank you, Sheila. Sincerely, thank you. I don’t know what I’d have done if I’d had that reaction in front of everyone at my first middle school party.”_

_Sheila nods, grateful she’d listened to her sisterly instinct._

_They’d talked for a while after that, sharing the gummy bears & just bonding._

_Before they’d left, Sheila had returned to that little store and bought 6 more of ‘The Fairy’ for him to keep in the mini-fridge in his room._

_They’d beaten their parents home, so it had been easy for them to sneak the bottles of drink in the house._

* * *

Bob smiles at the memory, thanking his lucky stars he’d tried it away from everyone else he knew besides his sister.

After THOROUGHLY washing & rinsing the bottle with hot, soapy water, he smells it to ensure no traces of the lemon-y scent of its original contents remain.

Once his nose assures him it’s clean, he grabs the funnel & pours the other clear drink in to replace it.

Recapping it & setting it back in the front left corner of the box he’d retrieved it from, it resumes its place as just another one of the many bottles with the Bug image embossed upon it resting in the refrigerator.

He quickly tapes the box back shut, after discarding the other bottle.

* * *

Later that evening, once his parents had left for “date night”, middle schoolers file into Bob’s house as the first party of the new school year begins.

Once a good chunk of the various grades’ “cool kids” have arrived, Bob signals

“Attention fellow middle schoolers!” he bellows, capturing the room’s attention.

“You may have heard about an old tradition involving ‘The Drink’. If my time as playground king taught me anything, it’s that just because older kids did something to us when we were younger doesn’t make it right for us to do it to younger kids in turn. I’ve held this party to inform you all that, as of this year, that tradition is over. If any of you seventh graders would like to try the drink, PRIVATELY, out in the garage, you may. Otherwise, if I catch anyone trying to make anyone else try drink, there’ll be hell to pay.”

Bob warns.

There’s chatter amongst those in the lower grades as he steps down.

Once Jordan & Jerome have placed the box of The Bug down on the kitchen table behind him, Bob opens it in front of the crowd.

He takes the bottle in the left corner, closest to the image marking the front of the box, before very publicly uncapping it.

He holds it under his nose just long enough for the scent of lime to confirm it’s the correct bottle, then takes a drink.

Once he’s done so, he takes a few slices of pizza from one of the many boxes next to it & takes a seat over on the couch.

“Hey Bob, that was pretty cool of you!” TJ remarks mirthfully as he comes over.

Shrugging, Bob responds

“It’s unfair to the younger kids to mistreat them just because our elders mistreated us.”

“I agree. In fact, as a former king myself, there’s some matters I’d like to discuss with you privately.”

His eyes told Bob he wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer.

Nodding, Bob gets up, bringing with him his drink and his pizza as he sets out to lead TJ up to his bedroom.

Spotting Jordan & Jerome, Bob waves them over.

“Yes sir?”

“See to it that Detweiler and I aren’t disturbed. And that nobody else comes upstairs; You know where the guest bathroom is down here. & Have the guys make sure people try the drink ONE AT A TIME out in the garage.”

He'd left a good number of root beer bottles in an open cooler out there for people to wash it down if they don't like it.

“Sure thing.”

Bob nods & TJ smiles at them both, tipping his hat as they both disappear up the stairs & into Bob’s room.

Once they’re inside, with the door shut and locked, they take seats on his bedroom floor, facing each other.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Well, a lot of things. But first, you mind if I try a sip?” TJ asks, having a hunch.

He’s not entirely sure his suspicions will be confirmed, but he’s willing to brave the foul taste if it means there’s a shot he’ll get to kiss the gorgeous, tall, uni-browed young man in front of him.

“Ah…I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” Bob responds, nervously; his reaction egging TJ on further.

“Aw c’mon! We’ve shared drinks before, what’s the big deal?”

“Nothing I just ah…” Bob says growing defensive

“Then hand me the bottle” TJ responds casually

“No.”

“Hand me the bottle!” He says, reaching for it

“No!” Bob says, pulling it back, but it’s too late. TJ’s already got a hold of it, and damnit his grip is as strong as his willpower, and he’s determined.  
“Let go!”

Instead of responding, TJ just leans down, close enough to take a whif of the bottle’s contents.

Both young men halt in their struggle, silence and stillness washing over them.

TJ’s the one to break it.

“It smells like lime…”

Bob sits frozen in place, sweating bullets, unsure of how much Detweiler knows about the drink, but only for a moment.

“The Bug smells like lemon.”

Eyes wide, Bob’s face resembles that of a frightened animal as TJ pulls back.

“Are… are you going to tell anyone?” he inquires

Easily retrieving the bottle from the shocked male’s hand, TJ pulls back, glass bottle in hand.

He holds direct eye contact with the older young man, takes a swig from his bottle, then pulls it away from his lips, revealing a smile.

“Nope.” He says, absolutely elated that his long time crush is both into guys, and clever.

…Just not quite as clever as himself.

Bob’s stock still, stunned into place.

“I’ll leave you to think about what to do with that information.”

Just as he’s about to unlock the door, and make his exit, TJ feels a hand firmly on his shoulder.

“You’re going to want to put down your plate of pizza.”

Bob’s smooth, deep voice informs from behind him, sending shivers up his spine.

TJ does as he’s directed to do, setting his pizza and drink down on the desk as Bob does the same.

“Okay. Wha-“

He’s cut off by the older boy’s lips on his own before he can finish the sentence.

Eyes closed, the two young men are entirely consumed by the marvelous sensation of sharing a first kiss with someone they’re actually attracted to!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are more TJ x King Bob fics than TJ x Spinelli fics XD
> 
> We have invaded your fandom,  
> we hold your beloved characters ransom;  
> At last, the slash has prevailed,  
> behold this ship as it sails!


End file.
